More bubblings up, CPE-related.

A few more thoughts. I am trying to piece together a reflection for my COM, and these are a few more things that bubbled up.

I think about Sammie, an 87 year old woman who had suffered a stroke, who was on dialysis, who was curled up in the fetal position every day, whose family was full of Pentecostal preachers (her daughter told me, while also telling me "How great your job is - think of all the people you get to bring to Christ and save from hell!" Um. "Yes," I answered, "Well, um, I do carry the love of Christ with me wherever I go." It was some quick thinking on my feet.) Sammie couldn't speak well - I understood about 10% of the garble that came from her throat, but she always, always wanted to see me and hold my hand, and I discovered that if I said bits of hymns or Psalms to her, she would repeat them back. She wanted the TV emphatically off when we gave time to God. She also liked to pray in call and response, where I would pray and she would repeat it ("Jesus, you hold Sammie in love, and know her and keep her from the crown of her head to the tips of her toes." "...From the crown of my head to the tips of my toes." Which actually came out "...Froma...crowa...mahead...tipsssa mahtoess" but I got the hang of it after a while). It was a very intense experience of listening really, really hard with both my head and my heart, and a sense of joy and relief and release and glory when I found the shared holiness in our speech. I loved her. She gifted me.

I think about the fact that the entire staff celebrated the month's birthdays on the 2nd Monday of the week, with a morning of cake and fruit and ice cream. Everyone signs the birthday card. It's very fun. And I had a small hint of the intra-office tensions that resembled intra-office tensions at every single other office at which I've worked in my short life. A small, funny reminder that places where people are engaged in God's work don't necessarily make better, kinder workplace environments. I wonder how you all feel about this and deal with it? Are there ways that people try to say, "But we're chaplains...shouldn't we be better somehow at coping with disliking each other?" How are internal tensions thought about, talked about, coped with?